Is there a word you hate? When you hear, say or type it, does it makes your skin crawl? There are words that people legitimately hate and therefore avoid in the English language. I polled my Facebook friends on the subject and here are a few examples:

Moist, dollop, fart, barf, hate, fat, should, crusty, rent, selfie, squat.

I thought these were interesting choices. Especially the ones that seemed to be tied with emotions; like “should”, “fat”, “hate” and “rent”. What is it about words that can trigger deep emotions within us?

Although I agree with some of the words listed from my friends, my pick is different. But it is also tied to emotions.

My word is HUSTLE.

Gosh, I can’t stand it. Why? Why do we have to hustle? Who says? Why can’t I meander or saunter? Hustling makes me tired and cranky and anxious.

The word hustle basically means to be aggressive, force, push, scheme. Also, most people think of the popular dance move from the ’70s, also called the “hustle” (and cue the song being stuck in your head!).

I think we can agree that this word does not illicit good feelings. Why are we pushing people to hustle when the definition is so offensive? In sports or exercise, I totally get it. Hustle means go faster so you can win. That makes sense to me. But hustling in life? In work? At home? All the NOPE.

The emotions I have for “hustle” come from a few years of my life when hustling was the norm. Treading water, so to speak, was commonplace. This is a perilous hustle that ultimately leads to burnout and exhaustion. Because of this unhealthy view of the word, when someone says “hustle”, I think: Produce, Ship, Promote, Prove. REPEAT.

Friends, I am here to tell you and give you permission that you do not need to hustle. Learn from my mistakes. It was a horrible way to live. I would wake up in the morning and hate the day already. It was just going to be another day where I failed at life. I would fail at being a good wife, mom, friend, employee. Hustling affected every aspect: I had severe stomach pains for months with no explanation. I had skin infections and had to have surgery twice to fix them. I had trouble sleeping and taking deep breaths. I gained weight and therefore my self-esteem plummeted. I cried all the time. Constantly husting just absolutely made my life a living hell.

Ultimately, it came down to a choice I needed to make for myself. Finally, I made some changes and I remember it as vividly as when it happened; a GIANT weight lifted off of my shoulders. I suddenly had no problem waking up. The pain and other issues stopped. Anxiety was way down. I could finally breathe.

At the risk of sounding lame, let’s do the “anti-hustle”. A complex but enjoyable dance of living life, being intentional with your words and actions, being a hard worker but not letting it consume you, savoring each moment, slowing down. I recognize, though, that sometimes life requires hustle. A big project, an upcoming event; these are times hustling is acceptable. But when it is prolonged, it becomes a pattern that leads to ruin.

I never want to go back to the hustle. My family and I left behind our old ways of living and moved (physically and emotionally) to a slower pace of life. We decided to choose love, life and anti-hustle as our new norm.

I choose the anti-hustle. Life is sweeter and slower but not lacking in thriving, hard work and movement. Proving doesn’t matter to me anymore. The proof is in my kids’ love, hugs, kisses and laughter. The proof is in my health and state of mind that has vastly improved. The proof is in our marriage that has never been stronger. The proof is that I’m so much happier not striving to please or attain favor. I am just me. And that’s enough.

It’s better over here doing the anti-hustle. There’s a huge dance floor waiting for you to join in. Don’t miss it.